Back by popular demand here are further quotes from my four-year-old granddaughter. My son and his wife live and teach in Shanghai, China. Chloe was four in July and has some imaginative musings on life. Many of her observations involve her younger brother Paul, also called DiDi, which is Chinese for little brother. Our son Dave originally wrote down these quotes and has once again given me permission to share them. Enjoy!
I’m Going to Marry….
I’m playing a Batman game, creeping through the darkness to take down baddies. Chloe’s watching over my shoulder.
Chloe: We need to get a girl for him.
Chloe: We need to get a girl for Batman, so he can get married.
Me: Oh, really? I think there are some girls who want to marry him, but he’s busy.
Chloe: *I* want to marry Uncle Paul (a co-worker and fellow teacher in Shanghai)
Me: Why is that?
Chloe: Because I will grow up soon, and I want to be a bride.
Me: But why Uncle Paul?
Chloe: Because … well, I *do* like him.
Me: Maybe you could marry Batman.
Chloe: Oh! Oh, yes! I’ll marry Batman.
Me: Why do you like Batman?
Chloe: Because he’s so powerful. He saves the day. He saved the day for my whole life!
Me: Who do you want to marry, then? Batman or Uncle Paul?
Chloe: Here, Daddy. Eat this banana [handing me a plastic banana].
::I pretend to nibble at it.::
Chloe: You’re so cute, Daddy. You’re just like a little baby thug.
Me [choking on my banana]: I’m a what?
Chloe: You’re a little thug. What does thug mean, Daddy?
Me: It’s a bad person who hurts people. Where did you hear that word?
Chloe: But you’re a nice thug. You’re a nice little fluffy baggy thug.
Chloe’s eating a blueberry muffin while I do correspondence.
Chloe: [holding up a blueberry] This one is brave.
Me: The which what now?
Chloe: [holding up a morsel of muffin] And this one is the bad guy. [she hurls it back into the bowl containing the brave blueberry and the rest of the muffin] They’re fighting. [makes fighting noises]
Me: Your muffin components are fighting each other?
Chloe: [snatches both up and stuffs them in her mouth] Uh-oh … someone ate the fighters. Too bad.
DiDi Is a …….
Chloe and DiDi are eating macaroni and cheese for lunch. Chloe climbs down from her chair and comes over to me, looking serious.
Chloe: I want to talk to you, Daddy.
Chloe: DiDi. DiDi is a filthy pig.
We’re potty training DiDi right now. This can make for some tense moments, as it did yesterday. I’m in my room working.
Chloe [calling from her room]: Look, Daddy! POO!
Me [dashing in]: What? Where’s the poo?!
Chloe [pointing to book]: Right here! He’s giving some honey to Piglet!
Phew! Just a false alarm … THIS time …
Yesterday a package arrived from Grandma and Grandpa bearing, among other things, a couple of highly detailed dinosaur action figures. Last night, as we’re getting ready for bed, I come into the room to find Chloe kneeling on the rug, staring intently at the two dinosaurs, which she’s placed side-by-side in front of her. She’s not doing anything — just staring at them.
Me: What are you doing, baby?
Chloe [very quietly]: I’m watching this dinosaur to see if it’s real or just a toy. I’m watching him to see if he winks at me or not. If he winks at me, he’s a real dinosaur. And I will give him some dinner.
Me: OK, Chloe, here’s your cookie. Why don’t you share it with DiDi?
Chloe: [breaking the cookie in half] Here you go, DiDi!
DiDi: Tank oo.
Chloe: I forgive you, DiDi!
Me: [choking back laughter] No, baby — when someone says ‘thank you,’ we should say ‘you’re welcome’.
Chloe: I’m welcome, DiDi!
Me: Suanle ba …
Facts about Bison I Bet You Didn’t Know
Every morning we review the Apostle’s Creed and learn about an animal. Today’s animal was the bison (Aunt Annie suggested that maybe we were skewing a little too heavy on the carnivores, so we’re branching out). When Des came back from her prayer time, I decided we should review.
Me: What animal did we learn about, Chloe?
Me: Can you tell Mommy something about bison?
Chloe: They’re … they’re very small [indicating with her fingers a bison about the size of a penny].
Me: No, silly! How big are they really?
Chloe: AS BIG AS A WHOLE HUGE HOUSE!
Me: Come on, Chloe! Why don’t you tell Mama what we learned?
Chloe: But Daddy, I’d rather just make something up!