Quotes From Chloe…and Didi

Here are the latest funnies from my grandkids.  My son and his wife live and teach in Shanghai, China.  Chloe will be five in July and has some imaginative musings on life.  Many of her observations involve her almost three-year-old sibling Paul, also called DiDi, which is Chinese for little brother.  Dave has given me permission to share these quotes. Enjoy!

Once there was a little girl…???????????????????????????????

12-31-13

Chloe: Hey, Daddy! I’m going to tell you a story, OK? Once, there was a little girl. And she was flopping on her bed. [illustrative flopping] And then, she fell down. And then, she got a BIG BOO-BOO! And then, her mommy gave her a band-aid. And then, her mommy gave her a BIG, HUGE cake, too. And some candy. And all she did was eat cake and candy ALL THE TIME. [exaggerate scarfing motions and sound effects]
Me: Hmm, I think you’re telling the story wrong.
Chloe: Huh?
Me: Yeah, because her mommy didn’t give her a big huge cake. Actually, she gave her a big …
Chloe: WHAT?
Me: Huge …
Chloe: WHAT?!
Me: Spanking!
Chloe: No, no, no. Because she was a good girl, and she never did anything wrong.
Me: But everyone does wrong things sometimes.
Chloe [triumphantly]: Nope! Because her name was GIRL JESUS!

I’m just like Batman!

1-16-14

The kids and I are playing Batman.

Chloe: Hey …. hey, Daddy. I think that Batman is … um … actually just a daddy.
Me: A daddy?
Chloe: Yeah. He’s not a monster. He’s just a daddy because I see’d his chin. He’s just wearing a mask.
Me: Riiiiight. Nothing gets past you, huh?
Chloe: Daddy, what’s Batman’s human being name?
Me: Bruce Wayne.
Chloe: Can Batman speak Chinese?
Me: Uh, I don’t know. Probably. I think so.
Chloe: Just Chinese, right? Not English.
Me: No, he can definitely speak English.
::there’s a pause while this sinks in::
Chloe (with dawning delight): Hey, Daddy! I’m just like Batman! I can speak Chinese and English and Batman can speak Chinese and English! Batman and me are just the same!
Me: Just the same. For sure.

Wake up, Daddy!

1-29-14

[At 5:30 on a Saturday]
Chloe: WAKE UP, DADDY!
Me: Mrghf.
Chloe: Daddy! Don’t you want to wake up? Look! It’s light outside!
Me: Goway.
Chloe [scornfully]: Daddy! Are you nocturnal or something?

I have to go to the office

1-31-14

DiDi: Daddy! Will you lay on the bed so I can jump on you?!
Me: Sorry, buddy — I have to go to the office.
DiDi: *I* want to go to the office *too!*
Me: Well, the office is just for boring stupid people like me.
DiDi: I *AM* a boring stupid people! I’m going too!

The perils of Spiderman

DiDi2-3-14

The family and I are eating out, waiting for the food to come. DiDi is playing with a Spiderman coloring book and has gotten hold of a Spiderman sticker, with which he is gesturing dramatically.

Chloe: I’m thirsty!
DiDi: [deep gravelly Spiderman voice] You’re not thirsty. I’m Spiderman.
Chloe: I’m really thirsty!
DiDi: [continuing gravelly voice] Do you like me? If you like me I will give you a drink. And NOWWWWW ::accidentally slaps sticker against table:: [Still gravelly] Oh. I’m stuck.

This apple is good!

2-4-14

DiDi: Mmm, this apple is good!
Me: Is it? Good! We should thank God for these delicious apples.
DiDi: [hollering at the ceiling] God, this is REALLY good!

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One thought on “Quotes From Chloe…and Didi

  1. Are you sure you’re not being called to China where your cuties are? Seriously, I am so thankful for all the means of communication these days. When I was in Africa, there were no phone connections and only telegraph for emergencies or mail not reliable. Since we couldn’t send film home for fear it would be stolen, the only pictures I could send my family were a couple someone took who had a polaroid or to send film home with someone going to the states. I can’t belive we can now SKYPE or FACETIME the other side of the world. I know that helps a little though you’d enjoy the genuine hugs, too. Greetings from Greenville! I enjoy your posts. Rachel Larson Fellow Stripe from THE WILDS 1976 🙂

    From: Purple Grandma <comment-reply@wordpress.com> Reply-To: Purple Grandma <comment+r3bxzt0pn8qr6j-agbkm_-o@comment.wordpress.com> Date: Wednesday, March 12, 2014 5:46 PM To: Rachel Carol Larson <rlarson@bju.edu> Subject: [New post] Quotes From Chloeand Didi

    debtal posted: “Here are the latest funnies from my grandkids. My son and his wife live and teach in Shanghai, China. Chloe will be five in July and has some imaginative musings on life. Many of her observations involve her almost three-year-old sibling Paul, also cal”

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