More Quotes from Chloe plus Discourse with DiDi

Chloe, age 4, and Paul (also called DiDi, Chinese for little brother), age 2, are our grandchildren.  They live in Shanghai where their parents teach.  Our son and his wife have Cora 3captured some delightful comments from the kids and are allowing me to share them here.   Enjoy!

The cold, cold, cold wind

3-22-13

I’m holding Chloe on my lap and listening to some rather reflective music involving a choir. After a few minutes of quiet observation, Chloe pops her thumb out of her mouth and says “Daddy, those people are saying ‘ooh ooh ooooh.’ They sound very sad. They sound so, so sad. They sound like they have no father to be with them. They have no mommy and no aunts or uncles. They have no cups, no yogurt, no food, no tissues, no beds, no comfy cozy room, and no big door to close … they just have to stay outside where the cold, cold, cold wind is blowing on them all the time.”
… well, I didn’t think it was THAT sad!

Yummy and wiggly

4-5-13

Chloe’s prayer over breakfast (which consisted of yogurt, carrots, and jello):

“Dear God, thank you for that jello is so wiggly and it’s very yummy, and thank you … um … for the world. It’s nice. And thank you for this food amen.”

God says you have to work and stuff

4-28-13

Chloe’s just awoken from a little snooze and we’re chatting when I yawn mightily.
Me: Boy, I’m tired … maybe I should have taken a nap too, huh?
Chloe: [waving her blanket at me emphatically] But God says you have do work and stuff, so you can buy me food!

… … …

I think that’s the first time she beat me with a theological argument. Probably won’t be the last.

What to do with yogurt       20130710_090059

5-2-13

Today’s Sentence I Can’t Believe I’m Saying:

“DiDi, it is not OK to pour yogurt on people when they’re in bed. That’s naughty.”

What is a wrap?

5-21-13 

I’m cooking breakfast for the kids.

Me: Chloe, do you want your eggs in a wrap?
Chloe: Yes! Yes, I want a wrap!
DiDi: Wanna wap too.
Chloe: Um, Daddy, what is a wrap?
Me: Well, a rap is when you drop some fresh rhymes. You know, on the mike.
Chloe: … try again, Daddy. What is a wrap?

Nothing gets past her

Yes hair

5-29-13

DiDi has fastened a pink bear barrette into his flowing blonde locks and is admiring his reflection in the mirror. He comes over, climbs into my lap, unsnaps the barrette, and holds it up to my head.

DiDi: You wear it, Daddy!

He then tries unsuccessfully several times to get it to clip onto my bald pate. Finally he shakes his head and withdraws it.

DiDi: Daddy, you have no hair. [Then, clipping it back into his own] You have no hair, and I have YES hair!

I love you more than…..

6-21-13

Chloe: Mommy, I love you more than sand.
Des: Well, I love you more than rocks.
Me: What?
Des: I have no idea. I just think it’s cute. Chloe, I love you more than chocolate.
Chloe: Um, I love you more than … spreading chocolate [Nutella]. I love you more than … uh … uh … pink chocolate!
Des: You think about chocolate a lot, huh?
Me: Well, chocolate’s the best thing there is, according to Chloe. She already went straight to the top in her declarations of love to you.
Chloe: Straight to the top … to get some chocolate!

Son, eat your herbs!

7-6-13

I’m playing outside with the kids.

Chloe: Phew! I’m so sweaty! My hair is all wet. Also, Daddy, I have a snail in my hair. Can you help me get it out?

A few minutes after we sent the snail on his way, she told me that I was the kid and she was the mom. I agreed to go along with it. She immediately yanked up a small sapling and handed it to me.

Chloe: These are herbs. Eat them, son.
Me: This is a pretty big herb.
Chloe: You can just shovel it in your mouth.
Me: [suppressing laughter] Yes, I suppose I could.
Chloe: Listen to me, son. If you don’t shovel that herb in your mouth when I say ‘two,’ I will spank your little bottom. One. TWO! [I am physically assaulted]

Do we ‘count’ before punishments? No. Do we instruct the children to shovel herbs into their mouths? No. Who is raising these kids while I’m sleeping?!

Quotes from Chloe, Part Deux

Back by popular demand here are further quotes from my four-year-old granddaughter.   My son and his wife live and teach in Shanghai, China.  Chloe was four in July and has some imaginative musings on life.  Many of her observations involve her younger brother Paul, also called DiDi, which is Chinese for little brother.  Our son Dave originally wrote down these quotes and has once again given me permission to share them. Enjoy!

I’m Going to Marry….

11-30-12

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I’m playing a Batman game, creeping through the darkness to take down baddies. Chloe’s watching over my shoulder.

Chloe: We need to get a girl for him.

Me: Who?

Chloe: We need to get a girl for Batman, so he can get married.

Me: Oh, really? I think there are some girls who want to marry him, but he’s busy.

Chloe: *I* want to marry Uncle Paul (a co-worker and fellow teacher in Shanghai)

Me: Why is that?

Chloe: Because I will grow up soon, and I want to be a bride.

Me: But why Uncle Paul?

Chloe: Because … well, I *do* like him.

Me: Maybe you could marry Batman.

Chloe: Oh! Oh, yes! I’ll marry Batman.

Me: Why do you like Batman?

Chloe: Because he’s so powerful. He saves the day. He saved the day for my whole life!

Me: Who do you want to marry, then? Batman or Uncle Paul?

Chloe: Batman.

Thugs

12-21-12

Chloe: Here, Daddy. Eat this banana [handing me a plastic banana].

::I pretend to nibble at it.::

Chloe: You’re so cute, Daddy. You’re just like a little baby thug.

Me [choking on my banana]: I’m a what?

Chloe: You’re a little thug. What does thug mean, Daddy?

Me: It’s a bad person who hurts people. Where did you hear that word?

Chloe: But you’re a nice thug. You’re a nice little fluffy baggy thug.

The Muffin

1-10-13

Chloe’s eating a blueberry muffin while I do correspondence.

Chloe: [holding up a blueberry] This one is brave.

Me: The which what now?

Chloe: [holding up a morsel of muffin] And this one is the bad guy. [she hurls it back into the bowl containing the brave blueberry and the rest of the muffin] They’re fighting. [makes fighting noises]

Me: Your muffin components are fighting each other?

Chloe: [snatches both up and stuffs them in her mouth] Uh-oh … someone ate the fighters. Too bad.

DiDi Is a …….

1-26-13

Chloe and DiDi are eating macaroni and cheese for lunch. Chloe climbs down from her chair and comes over to me, looking serious.

Chloe: I want to talk to you, Daddy.

Me: OK. What do you want to talk about?   Livingroom 1

Chloe: DiDi. DiDi is a filthy pig.

Potty Training

2-12-13

We’re potty training DiDi right now. This can make for some tense moments, as it did yesterday. I’m in my room working.

Chloe [calling from her room]: Look, Daddy! POO!

Me [dashing in]: What? Where’s the poo?!

Chloe [pointing to book]: Right here! He’s giving some honey to Piglet!

Phew! Just a false alarm … THIS time …

Dinosaurs

2-22-13

Yesterday a package arrived from Grandma and Grandpa bearing, among other things, a couple of highly detailed dinosaur action figures. Last night, as we’re getting ready for bed, I come into the room to find Chloe kneeling on the rug, staring intently at the two dinosaurs, which she’s placed side-by-side in front of her. She’s not doing anything — just staring at them.

Me: What are you doing, baby?

Chloe [very quietly]: I’m watching this dinosaur to see if it’s real or just a toy. I’m watching him to see if he winks at me or not. If he winks at me, he’s a real dinosaur. And I will give him some dinner.

Thank You

3-11-13

Me: OK, Chloe, here’s your cookie. Why don’t you share it with DiDi?

Chloe: [breaking the cookie in half] Here you go, DiDi!

DiDi: Tank oo.

Chloe: I forgive you, DiDi!

Me: [choking back laughter] No, baby — when someone says ‘thank you,’ we should say ‘you’re welcome’.

Chloe: I’m welcome, DiDi!

Me: Suanle ba …

Facts about Bison I Bet You Didn’t Know

3-16-13

Every morning we review the Apostle’s Creed and learn about an animal. Today’s animal was the bison (Aunt Annie suggested that maybe we were skewing a little too heavy on the carnivores, so we’re branching out). When Des came back from her prayer time, I decided we should review.

Me: What animal did we learn about, Chloe?

Chloe: Bison!

Me: Can you tell Mommy something about bison?

Chloe: They’re … they’re very small [indicating with her fingers a bison about the size of a penny].

Me: No, silly! How big are they really?

Chloe: AS BIG AS A WHOLE HUGE HOUSE!

Me: Come on, Chloe! Why don’t you tell Mama what we learned?

Chloe: But Daddy, I’d rather just make something up!

::sob::