Further Quotes from Chloe and Discourse with DiDi

I have two amazing grandkids, Chloe, age 4 and Didi (Chinese for little brother,) age 2.  They live with their parents in Shanghai 000 zoo 3 - Copywhere my son and his wife teach.  My son has captured some memorable conversations with his kids and has allowed me to share them here with you.

We’re in North America now

7-13-13

Dave, Desiree and the kids arrived on North American soil for their summer break.

Des buckles the kids into their car seats (new and strange items to them), gets into the front, starts the engine, and pulls out to drive them over to their Aunties’ house.

Chloe: Mommy! Mommy, you can *DRIVE*?!!??
This is what happens when you live in China.

How rainy is it?

7-16-13

I’m carrying DiDi in from the car in the pouring rain.

DiDi: It’s so raining. It’s so rainy-raining.
Me: How rainy is it?
DiDi: Um … forty-nine. It’s so forty-nine raining.

Of furritos and other mammals

7-21-13

Chloe and I are playing her favorite game: she’s the mom and I’m the kid. She’s such a little power tripper.

Me: Mom, will you read me this book? [handing her “The Encyclopedia of Mammals: A Complete Visual Guide”]

Her: OK, son. [she opens it to the middle of ‘Mustelidae’; we are confronted with dozens of pictures of weasels, stoats, ferrets, and ermines]. Ahem. [with great confidence, jabbing her finger at various carnivores] This is all about squirrels. This is a big squirrel. And this is a cat. And this is a tailcat. And this [pointing at a charging wolverine] is a triangle. A furry snowy triangle. This one is [enunciating dramatically] a chumbaloofazingo. And this one [with a heavy Mexican accent] is a furrito.

Me: [choking back laughter]

Chloe: OK, enough of that. [she flips ahead, landing on a page with a photo of a hippopotamus feeding at the bottom of a river]. Ah. This is a moose. A kind of moose. We call it a walk-under-the-water moose.

She’ll probably be a zoologist, folks. Who else would be familiar with the walk-under-the-water moose and the elusive furrito?

Milk plus a mushy thing

8-24-13

We’ve just returned from the state fair. Chloe is having a yogurt snack, and the rest of us are discussing property rights laws. Suddenly, when Desiree is in mid-sentence, Chloe bursts out shouting, “Hey! Hey!” We all stop and look.

“Hey, you guys,” Chloe says. “Did you know that cows make milk? And the cow’s owner takes the milk and … um … adds a … like a mushy thing, and that makes YOGURT!”

We all chuckle. Chloe grins. Desiree says, “A little mushy thing, huh? Where did you learn that, little girl?”

Chloe looks uncertain. “Um … I learned it from … a … a cow told me.”

“A cow? Really?”

“Yes. A cow.”

What has eight legs and…

8-31-13

Desiree is reading Chloe a children’s book of riddles.

Des: What has eight legs and —
Chloe: A HORSE! [note: there is a picture of some horses on the page]
Des: No, horses don’t have eight legs. How many legs do horses have, baby?
Chloe: Um, one … two … uh … uh … SO MANY LEGS!
Des: Look, they have four. One, two, three, four. TWO horses have eight.
Chloe: Oh.
Des: So what has eight legs and long hair and runs very fast?
Chloe: A HORSE!

Black hair

9-11-13

Chloe’s taking a shower. A common topic for her during these times is why her hair is darker when it’s wet — something she doesn’t get but fascinates her. Yesterday …

Chloe: Why is my hair getting blacker, Mommy?
Des: Because it’s wet, baby.
Chloe: I want to look at my hair getting black.
[holds her hair out in front of her eyes for a moment]
Chloe: [sudden gasp of dawning realization] Mommy! Mommy! *I* know why my hair is getting blacker! It’s because I’m getting better at learning Chinese! *That’s* why my hair is blacker now!

Now we work on “correlation does not imply causation.”

Quotes from Chloe, Part Deux

Back by popular demand here are further quotes from my four-year-old granddaughter.   My son and his wife live and teach in Shanghai, China.  Chloe was four in July and has some imaginative musings on life.  Many of her observations involve her younger brother Paul, also called DiDi, which is Chinese for little brother.  Our son Dave originally wrote down these quotes and has once again given me permission to share them. Enjoy!

I’m Going to Marry….

11-30-12

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I’m playing a Batman game, creeping through the darkness to take down baddies. Chloe’s watching over my shoulder.

Chloe: We need to get a girl for him.

Me: Who?

Chloe: We need to get a girl for Batman, so he can get married.

Me: Oh, really? I think there are some girls who want to marry him, but he’s busy.

Chloe: *I* want to marry Uncle Paul (a co-worker and fellow teacher in Shanghai)

Me: Why is that?

Chloe: Because I will grow up soon, and I want to be a bride.

Me: But why Uncle Paul?

Chloe: Because … well, I *do* like him.

Me: Maybe you could marry Batman.

Chloe: Oh! Oh, yes! I’ll marry Batman.

Me: Why do you like Batman?

Chloe: Because he’s so powerful. He saves the day. He saved the day for my whole life!

Me: Who do you want to marry, then? Batman or Uncle Paul?

Chloe: Batman.

Thugs

12-21-12

Chloe: Here, Daddy. Eat this banana [handing me a plastic banana].

::I pretend to nibble at it.::

Chloe: You’re so cute, Daddy. You’re just like a little baby thug.

Me [choking on my banana]: I’m a what?

Chloe: You’re a little thug. What does thug mean, Daddy?

Me: It’s a bad person who hurts people. Where did you hear that word?

Chloe: But you’re a nice thug. You’re a nice little fluffy baggy thug.

The Muffin

1-10-13

Chloe’s eating a blueberry muffin while I do correspondence.

Chloe: [holding up a blueberry] This one is brave.

Me: The which what now?

Chloe: [holding up a morsel of muffin] And this one is the bad guy. [she hurls it back into the bowl containing the brave blueberry and the rest of the muffin] They’re fighting. [makes fighting noises]

Me: Your muffin components are fighting each other?

Chloe: [snatches both up and stuffs them in her mouth] Uh-oh … someone ate the fighters. Too bad.

DiDi Is a …….

1-26-13

Chloe and DiDi are eating macaroni and cheese for lunch. Chloe climbs down from her chair and comes over to me, looking serious.

Chloe: I want to talk to you, Daddy.

Me: OK. What do you want to talk about?   Livingroom 1

Chloe: DiDi. DiDi is a filthy pig.

Potty Training

2-12-13

We’re potty training DiDi right now. This can make for some tense moments, as it did yesterday. I’m in my room working.

Chloe [calling from her room]: Look, Daddy! POO!

Me [dashing in]: What? Where’s the poo?!

Chloe [pointing to book]: Right here! He’s giving some honey to Piglet!

Phew! Just a false alarm … THIS time …

Dinosaurs

2-22-13

Yesterday a package arrived from Grandma and Grandpa bearing, among other things, a couple of highly detailed dinosaur action figures. Last night, as we’re getting ready for bed, I come into the room to find Chloe kneeling on the rug, staring intently at the two dinosaurs, which she’s placed side-by-side in front of her. She’s not doing anything — just staring at them.

Me: What are you doing, baby?

Chloe [very quietly]: I’m watching this dinosaur to see if it’s real or just a toy. I’m watching him to see if he winks at me or not. If he winks at me, he’s a real dinosaur. And I will give him some dinner.

Thank You

3-11-13

Me: OK, Chloe, here’s your cookie. Why don’t you share it with DiDi?

Chloe: [breaking the cookie in half] Here you go, DiDi!

DiDi: Tank oo.

Chloe: I forgive you, DiDi!

Me: [choking back laughter] No, baby — when someone says ‘thank you,’ we should say ‘you’re welcome’.

Chloe: I’m welcome, DiDi!

Me: Suanle ba …

Facts about Bison I Bet You Didn’t Know

3-16-13

Every morning we review the Apostle’s Creed and learn about an animal. Today’s animal was the bison (Aunt Annie suggested that maybe we were skewing a little too heavy on the carnivores, so we’re branching out). When Des came back from her prayer time, I decided we should review.

Me: What animal did we learn about, Chloe?

Chloe: Bison!

Me: Can you tell Mommy something about bison?

Chloe: They’re … they’re very small [indicating with her fingers a bison about the size of a penny].

Me: No, silly! How big are they really?

Chloe: AS BIG AS A WHOLE HUGE HOUSE!

Me: Come on, Chloe! Why don’t you tell Mama what we learned?

Chloe: But Daddy, I’d rather just make something up!

::sob::